the rings of powerhas completed its first season and that's all I can say. . . Shame on everyone involved in this travesty.
I have never seen an adaptation of a great work be so abused, so drastically altered, or so disrespected as the creators ofthe rings of powerYou triedLord of the Rings.Tolkien's creation barely shines through the crap.
I gave this show a chance. I went in with low expectations and for a moment loved what I saw, but cracks quickly began to appear in the story and its heroes. Of mithril, this spectacle is certainly not handcrafted.
I'll try to break down everything that went wrong throughout the first season in a future article, but first let's look at the parody of the season 1 finale. Even my worst fears about the quality of this program couldn't match what we actually got.
On strangers and diversionary maneuvers
The episode begins with The Stranger wandering through a leafy forest when someone startles him and drops his apple. He chases after the mysterious person and discovers that it is Nori, only it is sononorie! The person who thought it was Nori for two seconds immediately transforms into the witch head, which makes us wonder what was the point of transforming into Nori in the first place, since up to that moment they didn't even realize they were doing it was . Moment. But it is okay!
BUT FROMFORBES CONSULTANT
The other witches come over and reveal who he is. . . Sauron! I think this may fool some viewers, but it's very obvious that this is all just a ploy to trick viewers into believing the question has been answered (no less than the first five minutes!) so they don't pay too much. . Pay close attention to what the left hand is doing.
In any case, they promise to take him east to Rhûn, where the veil clouding his mind can be removed and his powers restored. (Side note: It looks like The Stranger and Nori are going to travel to Rhûn in Season 2, which I think would be a great idea if only they hadn't butchered Season 1 first!) All of this seems to have The Stranger excited to do what starts doing his job. strange wind power until the witches stop him and start tying him up (only they hear something and decide what they should do instead is shapeshift for...reasons).
The Harfoot show up and see that there are only two witches, so they distract them and go to free the tied stranger, but it's actually the main witch! You know, the witch so much more powerful than the Harfoots that literally had no reason to dress up at all. Then the Stranger shows up and there is a big fight where the Head Witch sets everything on fire and the Stranger thinks he's bad now but Nori gives him a pep talk and then gives him the Head Witch's wand.
Well we knew he needed something to control his powers and the staff is the thing it seems because a moment later he's put out all the flames and he's upright and speaking clearly. He immediately steals a line from Gandalf telling the witches, "Out of the shadow you came and to the shadow you shall return!"
"Wait, you're not Sauron!" They cry. "Are..."
"I'm doing well!" he says, making me question everything I know about professional writing in Hollywood, and then banishes them to the shadows with the magic of butterflies.
So yes, not Sauron. ToWho could Sauron be????
The left hand of darkness
A magician will distract you with his right hand so you don't notice what he's doing with his left hand, but the creators ofthe rings of powerThey have proven to be less gifted when it comes to magic. We all saw the turn of Mordor coming within a few parsecs and anyone paying attention knew Halbrand would be Sauron. Well, there are no surprises here.
Galadriel and Halbrand teleport from Mordor to Eregion, though Halbrand has an injury that requires, ahem, "elven healing". You must have ridden very hard to get there in just six days. Seriously injured people can usually gallop for days or weeks without complications, so there's nothing really crazy about that.
They appear in Eregion, where Elrond and Celebrimbor discuss what to do now that the dwarves have denied them the mithril. Gil-galad is due in a day, so it's a very opportune time for Galadriel and Halbrand to show up at that time as well. Luckily, this show isn't based on gimmicks or crazy coincidences.Absolutely.
Gil-Galad tells them their time is up and he orders Eregion to be abandoned. All must go to Lindon immediately so they can leave Middle-earth and return to Valinor. Elrond and Celebrimbor continue to argue and Gil-Galad reluctantly gives it to them. (I still find it amusing that Gil-Galad dismisses Galadriel at the beginning of this season and declares it a "time of peace" and only a few episodes later have just a few months before the entire race of elves is doomed.)
Halbrand was taken to get some "elven healing" from healers, which Arondir claims elves don't really have, and a short time later she's miraculously better. He goes straight to Celebrimbor's workshop and seems very excited to discover that the elf he is talking to is none other than Celebrimbor himself. He asks about the gems and mithril and when Celebrimbor tells him they don't have enough, he suggests using an alloy (hence the episode title "Alloyed"). A masterful elven smithNeverOf course, think about it.
"Thanks for the intriguing suggestion," says Celebrimbor, to which Halbrand replies, "Call it a gift."
This line is for anyone who knows anything about themindeedHistory of the Rings of Power, a sure sign. When Sauron comes to the elves as Annatar, he becomes known as the Lord of Gifts and tries to seduce them with his promises. Gil-Galad, Elrond and Galadriel are not fooled, but Celebrimbor, weakened by his ambition, puts his trust in Annatar in Eregion.
At this point, with Celebrimbor beginning talk of forging a "new power," Galadriel's anger finally surfaced. Hearing that Halbrand has offered advice to Celebrimbor makes him immediately suspicious, although I don't understand why it has taken so long. She basically dragged him kicking and screaming all the way (after accidentally hitting him in the middle of the ocean, what, I... words just fail me) andnowdoes she suspect him?
In any case, she asks an elf clerk to look up her records of the lineage of the kings of the southlands, which according to the elf will take a long time, he has to go to the catacombs, but he comes back pretty quickly and she learns the awful truth: there is no king of the southern lands! The line of kings died out a thousand years ago and somehow they didn't know it and didn't bother researching the Hall of Wisdom in Númenor for another ten minutes or so.
She confronts Halbrand and he quickly confesses. He was born before the song's breakup. It has had many names. The next scene could have been really decent if the setup before that point was better, but it's all so contrived. Everything that has led to this was based on either a truly radical coincidence or Galadriel's stupidity (or both). They could have set this up in a much more convincing and amazing way, but they rushed it, cutting the source material to pieces in the process.
In the end, Galadriel rejects Sauron's advances to rule at her side (sorry Kylo Ren!) and leaves Eregion. Instead of telling Elrond and Celebrimbor the truth, Galadriel tells them to make three rings instead of two, for the sake of...er...balance.
You make the rings in about fifteen minutes and look at them in amazement.
The rings that took 90 years to make. Of course, they don't even do the first rings, the men's and midget rings, on the show. Galadriel even says that the rings should only be for elves. Sauron would have been there to forge all the rings of men and dwarves. It was part of his plan: to have the elves make these rings so that he could secretly make the One Ring and control all the others. Celebrimbor then forged the three elven rings unbeknownst to Sauron. You only learn of Sauron's deception when he makes the One Ring.
But none of that is here! None of the most basic items from the forge of the actual Rings of Power are here. Halbrand/Sauron spends a day in Eregion and leaves. How is that somehow source-faithful? I understand that changes need to be made in the accommodations, but this is not a change. This is a complete rewrite of a fairly well established story. And for what purpose?
Oh, and to forge the rings you need gold and silver from Valinor. Mind you, a lot of the elven things in Eregion are probably Valinorian gold and silver, but they end up using Galadriel's dagger instead, even though that's all they have left of their brother.
Meanwhile, Halbrand returns to Mordor, where we see him walking through the mountains, glaring across the volcanic plain at Mount Doom. Sorry Halbrand/Galadriel Sender, it doesn't seem like we have a romance. (Also, Celeborn is not mentioned in this episode.)
Come to think of it, let's not go to Númenor. It's a stupid place
We get a great look at the Númenórean ship that brings home Elendil, Miriel, and the guy who was Isildur's friend in this episode, and I still can't figure out where it all fits together. Where are the horses going? All the tents and the food? All people? It's a really small ship!
In all honesty, very little of significance happens in this plot. Elendil and Miriel are talking on the ship. Elendil's poor daughter hangs out with the dying king, who shows her the palantir before croaking. (After seeing a much more powerful scene with a dying kinglast Sunday at the House Of The DragonI couldn't help but make comparisons in my head).
Ar-Pharazon has a slightly menacing expression on his face as the king dies. They set black sails in the bay and when Elendil and Miriel come back he sees them and knows what happened but she doesn't know and has to keep asking, 'What do you see? Do you see?"
That is . . . Kind of like a setup for Season 2, but not much more.
many long goodbyes
Finally, the Harfoots say goodbye to Nori and the stranger. The stranger heads east and when Nori calls it an adventure, he tells her no, he needs partners for that. When her father tells her that she has to go with him, she immediately agrees. Then we're subjected to a lot of sweet, drawn-out, drawn-out goodbyes. If you want to lift Peter Jackson stuffLord of the ringsTrilogy, do goodbyes really have to be too long?
Poppy is devastated that Nori is leaving. "Why does everyone I love have to go?" she asks, to which Nori replies something like "We wouldn't learn anything new if we didn't." Neither suggests the obvious: you can both go! It's not like Poppy has another family in the trailer. She pulls her own cart alone (she walks alone, despite the chants) and they are best friends. Go together Mrs. Frodo and Mrs. Sam!
Finally Nori finally gets going with The Stranger and now we have to wait a few years for another season. . . Well, not about anything Tolkien wrote, that's for sure. But it's reassuring to know that the Rings of Power and Mordor were created within ten days! Nothing says epic fantasy like condensing thousands of years into a week and a half.
This is quality writing, folks.
We could have spent an entire season forging the rings. To the Annatar/halbrand joke. To the goblins and their vanity. We could have waited to tell the tale of Númenor later: a tale of the quest for death and the pride that comes before perdition. So many ways this show could turn what Tolkien actually wrote into a TV series worthy of the source material. Ironically, the pride seems to have been Amazon's downfall.Lord of the ringsAlso.
They added too much and cut too much when they had a perfectly good story to flesh out that Amazon had spent hundreds of millions of dollars on the purchase. Why not tell this expensive story? Why invent this other? I do not understand.
What an absolute disaster.
Here it ismy video review:
- Why did the witches think proto-Gandalf was Sauron? This is not explained. They just assume he is, just like Galadriel just assumes Halbrand is a king (although he keeps telling her otherwise).
- I'm still stunned by the fact that they just did a Rings of Power show where they just threw out the nine and the seven with the bath water. How do you do Nazgul without the nine? What is Sauron's motivation for making the One Ring in the first place now? Or invade Eragion?
- I wonder if everyone could see the word Mordor on that PowerPoint file last week? When will they start calling the Southlands Mordor? Will word get around? How does this work?
- This exchange between Galadriel and Elrond is classic: "Why are you here?" "Why areshehere?" They should have had Elrond say, "I asked you first!" Or maybe "Well, I still live in Middle-earth, you should be in Valinor!" Oy vey
- My show was suddenly interrupted in the middle by a trailer forperiphery.I hope this is nothing new what Amazon is doing because it wasn't right.
- There was no dwarf plot this week so no dispute between Durin and Durin or Durin IV and unfortunately Disa is not Sauron. He would make a good Sauron though.
- Neither does Bronwyn, Arondir, or Theo. For that alone I give this episode a thumbs up! But honestly, did any of these characters even play a role in this story? However, we got more from Bronwyn making speeches and Theo whimpering than we actually got from Sauron tricking Celebrimbor or forging the rings this season!
- Oh, and the other line from Gandalf that was stolen: "always follow your nose." Look, there's Easter eggs and nods, and then he's alone. . . stupid lack of originality. Has Gandalf been telling this to random hobbits for thousands of years?
It's over kids. It's over. You can rest now.